Red's Nature Show
by Mishieru Hime
Summary: Red and his friends observe a notable MapleStory group that recently immigrated to Smashville. Rated T for minor violence and swearing.


**Disclaimer: Please be offended if you're a person who spends 300 dollars on NX per month!**

***insert disclaimer here about Nexon and Nintendo***

* * *

Ness, Red, and Toon Link were playing Call of Duty at the games room (Master Hand allowed them to play M rated games because they dealt with enough violence already).

"I'm going to shoot all those campers!" yelled Ness. Over his red and blue baseball cap was a black, expensive looking headset.

"STFU AND SUCK MY D*CK!" yelled Red. Red wasn't always like that, but due to his recent exposure to the game, the aggressive players corrupted the innocent boy with bad language.

"Language, Red!" said Marth. He was playing Assassin's Creed on a nearby TV.

"F*CK OFF MARTHA! APPROPIATE LANGUAGE IS FOR PUSSIES!" screamed Red.

"I had it!" said Marth. He set aside the wireless Playstation controller on the glass coffee table, walked over to the Xbox 360 and turned it off.

"Since I'm the sponsor of the games room, Master Hand made me the administrator of the room. If you didn't read the rules on the front door, it said no swearing."

"But…" said Ness. Before he could say anything, he was silenced by Marth "No buts. All three of you are banned from the room for 1 week. If I see any of you during the ban, I'm extending it by 1 day." After Marth escorted them out of the room, they immediately rushed to the living room TV and turned it on.

They were greeted by the theme song of My Little Pony playing. The show looks like it was animated in Flash, so it must had been Friendship is Magic.

"My little pony, my little pony!" sang the TV voice.

"Who watches My Little Pony anyway? Nana likes that one show with those two dancers?" asked Red. They looked behind them to see Ganondorf wearing a My Little Pony shirt. The Gerudo was singing along to the show.

_"click."_

"SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP!"

"_Click."_

"The perfect pizza comes from the…"

"_Click."_

"HI! TOAD MAYS HERE! And I'm here to show you…"

"_Click."_

"We had found out the murderer of Young Link. The suspect was Saria who used a…"

"_Click."_

"The land of Ereve is home to the Cygnus, the young empress of MapleWorld and the recently conquered land of Hyrule." said the voice.

"WHAT?" yelled Ganondorf. "Stupid Nabooru, can't properly defend a kingdom." He stormed out of the room. Red was also interested in the show, so he wrestled Ness over the control of the remote and won, barring anyone from changing the channel.

"Ereve was once a mobile island, circling MapleWorld like a patrol boat. After the resurrection of the Black Mage, she permanently anchored the island near Maple Island, the tutorial island." he said.

"Currently, she is running a program called the Cygnus Knights. The Cygnus Knights is a group of knights that is affiliated with one element for each class. Each class is represented by a chief knight and the level cap is 120. However, max-leveled Knights can be reborn as Ultimate Adventurers."

The documentary lasted until 10pm. After the show, the boys got off the couch and chatted on the way to their rooms.

"How was the show?" asked Toon Link.

"I loved it." said Red. The whole group agreed with him.

"Since we all did, let's make our own documentary show and post it on the internet." he suggested.

He pulled out a pocket video camera from his pocket.

"Are you sure you can be trusted? You got us banned from the games room for one week." questioned Ness.

"If you at least help, I'll turn myself in and tell Marth that you're innocent." bribed Red.

"Fine." agreed the two boys.

* * *

**The next day:**

The group was outside an entrance to an upbeat club. Lights in a variety of colors came from the disco ball, and security was lax since no one was guarding the entrance.

Red asked Snake to act as the cameraman, so he was preparing the camera while everyone else was memorizing the script. Ness, Lucas and Toon Link were dressed in safari suits, while Red was in his normal clothes.

There was a young boy who was knocked out, but no one knew why he was there. The boy had black shaggy hair, a white t-shirt, jean shorts and wore red rubber boots on his feet. Beside him was a wooden club.

Another girl was walking around, bored. She has big black eyes, a pale complexion and black hair worn long. She was wearing a cyan tank top, a red miniskirt and a pair of pink and white sneakers with cyan loose socks. Her shoulder rested a pale yellow shoulder bag with a pink Vs. Seeker clipped onto the straps. On her head was a white hat with hot pink accents.

"You're ready?" grumbled Snake. "I have a date with Samus in 2 hours."

"Yup." said the boys and the girl cheerfully.

"OK. Show's starting in 3, 2, 1, Action!"

"Hello everyone on the Internet!" Red said. "Welcome to our new show where we observe violent creatures all over Nintendoland!"

"I'm your host Reddo"

"Toonie!" Toon Link chimed in.

"Lil' Lucas!" chirped Lucas.

"MC Ness here!" Ness added.

"And our assistant, who should wake any moment now. Who's definitely not a noob we kidnapped." said Red. "The other assistant is my friend, Leaf."

The noob was still knocked out, peacefully sleeping. Frustrated, Lucas shoved his bare fist in front of the noob.

"How may fingers am I holding up?" Lucas asked.

The noob ignored him, and was still in its knocked out position. Spit drooled out like a fountain.

"Huhwut…" mumbled the noob.

"That's right, none!" announced Lucas. The noob wasn't moving a single muscle, so Toon Link picked up the large wooden club beside him and hit him really hard on the head.

"**BONK!"** went the club.

The noob woke up and picked himself off the ground. He looked around and glanced at Ness, Lucas, Red, Leaf and Toon Link. The noob was even more scared when he saw Snake and the camera staring at him.

"OMGZORS! I'VE BEN KIDNAPPED! OMG SUE NEXON AND NINTENDO! MEZORS PLOX!" the noob yelled. He was still blabbering his noob talk after 5 minutes, leaving Red confused.

"Don't embarrass yourself." instructed Lucas. The noob continued to yell.

"Snake, put something over this!" demanded Red.

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

In the Smash Mansion Internet Café, Jeff and the Ice Climbers were watching the live streaming of the boys' nature show on Nana's pink laptop. They were happily watching it until Snake put something over the show.

"Ga-ga-ga Ganondorf!" sang two young women. One was dressed in a bright orange dress, while the other woman was dressed in the same dress except it was golden yellow.

The scene cut to a man cosplaying as Ganondorf. The look didn't look accurate since his hair wasn't the same as Ganondorf's cornrows, and the armor was simpler. He was dancing, and even a small child can outperform him.

"Sing it ladies!" said the impersonator.

The ladies twirled their dresses while singing the chorus.

Ganondorf was in the same room as the kids, but he was across from them. He was also watching the show, and was pretty insulted by the cosplayer.

"THIS IS AN INSULT!" roared Ganondorf. But before he could storm off, he heard violent noises that couldn't be in the video. It got weirder when he heard a voice in the video too.

"OK I'LL LISTEN! I'M SORI FOR DOIN DAT! AGH! DATS NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND DAT WAY! JUST DUN PLAY THAT HORRID SONG!" cried the voice. The scene cut back to the same club scene, the Ganondorf song no longer playing. The Gerudo sighed in relief.

* * *

**Back at the club:**

"Welcome back!" said Toon Link, who was beside the hosts, Leaf and the noob. The noob was standing up now, but he had a nasty black bruise placed on his eye. He was quietly dissing the hosts for kidnapping him. The viewers can hear him, but not the hosts.

"Like we said last time, we will observe the 'NX Whore', a stronger and wealthier variant of the common Mapler you see in MapleWorld." lectured Red.

"The NX Whore's scientific name is 'Acernis Mertrix'. Other names it goes by are 'Nxer Whoritus', the former scientific name and 'Henhoe', which means Henesy Hoe in slang." Ness said in an intelligent voice.

Snake played a montage of the attractive looking people attacking and catching their prey. Red liquid came out of the poor Maplers, before the scene cut back to the club.

"Those terrifying creatures…devour every non-member in their paths." announced Lucas. "One of their latest victims was Saria, who was shoved in as a punishment for murdering Young Link. She never came out."

"They originally come from MapleWorld, where their main habitat is Henesys. However, some wealthy Maplers with that mutation arrived here recently because of the luxury housing, and spread it to the locals. Those dangerous creatures socialize with each other in the club that's behind us. Going into it would be suicide." said Leaf as she pointed at the club's glass doors. In front of the door was a white portal, something that didn't belong in Smashville.

"Oh wow, thanks for volunteering. You're so brave. See you later!" Red said cheerfully to the noob. Ness and Toon Link grabbed both of the noob's arms and dragged him near the door.

"Good Luck! We'll have some ice cream on your return!" chirped Lucas. The two boys threw the noob at the portal. He disappeared without a trace. Leaf also entered the club too, holding a Pokeball and an Escape Rope in her hands. She also turned on the hidden video camera that was installed on her modified Vs. Seeker.

* * *

**Inside:**

The noob rubbed his eyes to see that he was inside a club, like if it was being prepared for opening. Leaf arrived a few seconds later, aware of her surroundings. The club was barren, and the only sounds they could hear were their own footsteps and the beeping noises from Leaf's Vs. Seeker.

"Hello?" Leaf asked. Her echoes were absorbed by the deafening silence.

"Anyone…home?" inquired the noob. He heard footsteps that didn't belong to them. He looked back to see a Henhoe with green curls that went up to her shoulders. She wore a short sleeved dress shirt with a green tie, a black short skirt, and some gray slip-ons. Over her shirt was a black vest. On her wrist were some neon bracelets and a white balloon was tied to her other wrist. It lunged at both of them.

Leaf managed to take a picture of the now henhoe Saria before she was trapped. The young Pokémon trainer activated her Escape Rope and left the club.

**Back outside:**

Leaf was teleported outside of the club. She was expecting Snake and the hosts to welcome her back, but she was greeted by a crowd of cheering people and journalists. The crowd consisted of different races who were watching the show live.

"Welcome back! I didn't know that you're one of the people to enter the club and return." Red said. He shook hands with Leaf. Some reporters walked up to her with some microphones to ask her a few questions.

"How did you escape the club?" asked a reporter.

"I used an escape rope. You can only buy those in the Pokemarts." she said.

"What happened to the other assistant?" Before Leaf could say anything, they heard a high pitched cry from the club.

"NO!" yelled the voice.

"Better them than us, we always say. Right Leaf?" Ness said jokingly.

"Yup." she agreed. The whole crowd laughed, having no sympathy for the noob.

* * *

**Epilogue:**

Red, the group and Snake were at an all-you-can-eat ice cream parlor to celebrate their first episode.

"This is really good ice cream." Toon Link said. He took another spoonful from his chocolate fudge sundae.

"I wished Samus was here, she'd love the ice cream." said Snake. In front of him was a vanilla ice cream sundae drizzled with hot fudge. Bacon was topped on the sundae.

"I didn't get to see the noob, but I still wonder what happened to him." Leaf chimed in as she ate her strawberry cheesecake frozen yogurt.

**Back at the club:**

The noob was laughing in insanity. He had become one of the henhoes after being brainwashed multiple times. He now had blue hair that covers part of his eyes, a white complexion pure as snow and big white eyes. He was dressed in a striped blue hoodie with matching shorts and had some shiny anklets attached to his ankles. On his head was a purple cat hood with a matching cape.

"Soon, I'll get revenge on those kids for turning me into a henhoe. MWAHAHAHAHA!" the noob laughed evily.

"Oh well…time to go on a cubing run."

* * *

**Acernis Mertrix is Maple Whore in Latin.**

**The Ganondorf Song (The Legend of Ganondorf) is owned by Random Encounters Entertainment. **


End file.
